|Listening||tok'o'toby | Gollum Stream 2 (condensed joseph anderson stream)|
risperidone is going on my medical shitlist alongside prozac. the side effects sucked. i only ended up on it because my insurance refused to cover the medication my psychiatrist originally wanted to prescribe and will only cover it once i've tried two out of four cheaper alternatives, so : ). it made me obscenely fatigued. even taking it hours before bed would still have me tired as fuck and stumbling as i walked into the next afternoon. it was ridiculous. and the wonderful irony of this side effect is that the medication my psych originally wanted to prescribe would have caused insomnia if anything. thanks, insurance! god, i fucking hate the american healthcare system. i'm in a decent state by american standards for this type of stuff, and it still is awful when insurance gets bitchy.
ugh. so i just started the second of these four meds last night. thus far, i am not falling over in exhaustion, and i've yet to really notice any side effects. my mental state has vacillated wildly between apathy and despairing and cranky. i was starting to check discord again, but i might just retreat into hibneration again...
even working on site stuff has just been less than great for me... i'm having a hard time mustering the motivation to do anything or to be content with anything i do create. even getting myself to keep watching an anime so i can canon review and whatnot for my nonconathon fic has been rough. i have a full month until it's due, and i already feel like maybe i should just default because nothing i make will be that good anyway lmao. i really wanted the assignment i got and feel passionately about it when i am more capable of feeling, but going between meds and shit is just...shit.